Day 79 - Breaking Character

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that playing roles acting out a character doesn’t really apply to me and therefore actually resist stepping out the characters I have been creating for and as myself to live through to survive in this world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to change my behaviour, mannerism, voice tonality according to my environment in order to give it my best act so I will get the best out of the play not yet realising how to express myself without separating self into and as a character to live through, acting on the stage of life without realising myself within and as it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that the characters that I play are real and therefore in no need to be released, investigated or realigned because the roles I played always suited me very well and therefore I want to keep them as being part of the role I Play as my part as the characters that I play to be able to find myself somewhere within it not yet realising that I/we have lost ourselves within this 'Acting Career" already a long time ago.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that some characters suit me very well that it really fits me as the personality suits I decided to wear and become and live through and thus believe that I am these characters that I decided to live through not yet allowing myself to realise that here as breath is all that is required to be lived without a script of who I decide to be as a character in my own movie script.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge people on the choice of character they decide to be in this life and categorise their way of play of being interesting or boring depending on the act they perform and the play they are within.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to admire those that succeed in the act of making money, because that Play is worth while playing and me wanting to be part of that game.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to actually know that I created all these characters within and as me and that all others within my world did the same yet I am so used and adjusted to playing my role within the play that to realign myself to only one character which serves all is like asking from an actor to quit acting and thats something my mind doesnt really like because that's what I have investigated all my time within all the hours spend, observing others, perfecting my performance that suited me the best.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have studied others behavior, mannerism, gestures into the smallest detail to be able to copy them to perfect the characters I wanted to be.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to resist realising that all I have ever been living was just me changing character's according to my environment and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I thus must admit that everything I have ever been is an actor playing different roles on the stage of life as the characters that suited my personality.

I commit myself to investigate how I as the characters that suited my personality came about.

I commit myself to stop all characters within and without